Me and My Jean Shorts

Right now, I'm wearing the first pair of shorts I've ever bought, which were purchased last summer. For many people, wearing shorts is simply a decision regarding weather and fashion, and nothing more.

For me it's different. For my entire teenage years and college career, you've probably never seen me wear a pair of shorts. The only time someone saw me wear them was if I was in my apartment/house and I probably had little else to wear. I had never stepped out of my domicile in a pair of shorts until last summer.

I was thinking today that there is something freeing about simply wearing a pair of shorts. For so long, I was committed to never letting anyone beyond family see my legs. I was so insecure about the way I looked, about my body, that I covered up every part of myself except for my face. In high school, I constantly wore hoodies in addition to jeans. I shamed myself into portraying myself as merely a face and two hands.

So lying here on my bed and feeling the cold air of my room caress and envelop my legs reminds me of how far I have come, how I've shed the weight of scrutiny and inferiority, which honestly weighs more than I ever could. Being free of that burden has allowed me to live a more liberated existence where embarrassment and self-hate don't exist. Making the conscious decision to even wear a pair of shorts, for me, is one that exudes courage.

Besides, my butt looks great in these shorts too. 8D

Strictly For The Ladies...And Very Curious Gentlemen

I went to the doctor last week because I was being attacked by itching and rashes out of nowhere. I knew shit was serious when it started affecting my face. My face has always been spotless: I never got acne nor did I ever get too many pimples. To this day, I get one pimple every couple months and can pop it with no problems or scarring.

I got that situation taken care of, but while I was there my doctor asked if I've gotten a Pap smear done since I'm twenty-two and I guess about that time. I told her that when I was a senior in college, I went to the gynecologist just because I wanted to be proactive about my health and all that good stuff. When I went, we couldn't even DO anything because she couldn't get the speculum into my vagina because I was tense, nervous, and "too tight." She said since I am a virgin I don't have to worry about it until I either start becoming sexually active or get to some age. Because of this, I was a bit shocked when my current doctor decided it's a good time to put my vagina is someone's face.

I get it; I want to make sure I don't have any issues and all that good stuff, but, really, really?! Is there no consensus over when I need to go to the vag-lady?! This stuff isn't comfortable and having a metal object pushed into ones virginal vagina is not a pleasant experience nor one I want to relive any time soon. It's not fun. IT'S. NOT. FUN.

I'm sure I'll do whatever I'm advised to do. But, seriously, if one person couldn't get the speculum in, what makes you think you can?! My vagina is clearly not interest in inviting anyone in to play. We're cool over here, yo.

Do you have vag-lady/vag-man horror stories? Share in the comments!