WHAT'S in Your iTunes Library?! Day Eight

Oh, this one is going to shock the whoa out of you.

This gem, yes, this gem is indeed in my iTunes playlist and has been for years.

"Let's Do The Time Warp Again"

I know. It's surprising. Kim actually likes The Rocky Horror Picture Show? Kim does the Time Warp?! You probably feel as if you don't even know me anymore.

However, I actually love this movie, and Tim Curry is undeniably fantastic in it. It's actually on my Amazon Wish list (so you can purchase it for me if you'd like 8]).

Anywho, the song is so fun and so weird. Every thing about this movie is weird, and as a person who hates musicals, actually loving this movie says a lot.

I also have the song "Sweet Transvestite," but that doesn't have a sweet dance to it.

|locks my knees, pelvic thrusts|

WHAT'S in Your iTunes Library?! Day Seven

I love this music series, so I'm going to keep it going! Plus, I want to make a playlist with this, and you can't do that with solely seven songs.

Here's the song!

"Electric Lady" by Tesla Boy

I know, you're probably like, "WTF, Kim?! You're listening to this?!"

And I'll respond with, "Yes. Yes."

This song gets easily stuck in my head. It's great to sing to and to dance to. It's so hypnotic, and so 80s. Makes me want to put on some spandex, grab some scrunchies and legwarmers, and look stupid in more ways than one. Who knew good shit like this could come out of Russia of all places?!

Believe me, this song takes you there. Judge me if you will. I'm gonna jam.

I also love this song by Tesla Boy too! Just as hypnotic and danceable!

"Thinking of You" by Tesla Boy

I am not ashamed.

Fat Fashion Fun!

I was thinking earlier today about this episode of How Do I Look, a show on the Style Network, that I saw earlier in the week. In it, the woman who would eventually be made over commented that she wore only men's clothes because no designer made anything cute, sexy, and stylish, in her size.

I was appalled! Where was this woman looking?!

Granted, it is harder as a bigger woman to find something figure-flattering that makes you feel good/sexy/lustworthy, what-have-you, and at an affordable price. However, the resources are totally out there.

I personally like to shop at Dots, Torrid, Old Navy, and Ashley Stewart for right now, but believe me, I have many bookmarks of places I've looked at and loved and places I look forward to exploring once I have a little change. The point is, there are plenty of places to go as a bigger woman to shop and not wear a burlap sack. Trust, you can be fat and fashionable/sexy/stylish.

Inspired by one of my new favorite blogs, Gabi's Young, Fat, and Fabulous, I decided to do my own outfit posts every once in a while. Now, I don't have a good camera, and I'm using my computer's camera, so things are not as clear and fresh as I'd like. Also, excuse my room. I have a lot of stuff. So here's what I wore to church today!

The white undershirt comes from Ashley Stewart. The blouse/tunic from Torrid.

Black leggings from Torrid as well.

The earrings are from Claire's. The bracelet was from Ashley Stewart.

Shoes are from Payless (And, no, I'm not ashamed!).

And one more for the road! (Sorry for the glare...)

I also had a white headband, but I accidentally broke it while I was at church. 8\

Comment below! Do you think this is a nice change of pace? What do you think of the outfit? My bigger ladies, where do you shop?

Men, You Are Not as Strong as You Think You Are

Men think they're better than women in a myriad of ways. One of these ways is through physical strength: some men think that just because they can open a stuck lid of a jar of applesauce or carry a television up three flights of stairs that it justifies patriarchy or chauvinism. Their physical might clearly make them the stronger sex, right?

Wrong.

You know what one of the saddest sights in the world is? A sick man. Although men like to pretend as if they're so great and so much better than women, a sick man is weaker and more pathetic than anything I've ever seen.

Case in point: When I came back from Grand Rapids the other week, I was talking to my brothers. One of my brothers mentioned to me that my mom might want me to drive to Sam's Club the next day. I said, "Cool." Then he said to me, "I'd do it, but I have a cold."

Cue my straight face. ---> o_o

It also reminds me of a time when this guy who went to my high school and eventually became valedictorian got a scrapey little boo-boo and started crying. CRYING. Over a CUT! A little one!

It's just crazy to me. I bleed from my vagina for a week and a half every month and LIVE. Not only that, but I EXPECT to live. My stomach turns inside out; it feels like I'm getting kicked in the back, and one time it even felt life someone shoved a knife in my ass, turning it every twenty minutes or so. We ladies go through this every month, usually without complaint. We take a Pamprin or Midol or Tylenol, drink some water, eat some chocolate, and do what we have to do. Time and business don't stop for us.

We give birth. We get endometriosis. We get ovarian cysts and suffer through ectopic pregnancies. We go through episiotomies. Our bodies rebel against us once a month. We endure unspeakable amounts of physical pain for one reason or another for most of our lives. Yet, we're still able to do what we have to do. We remain the glue that holds family together.

But you can't drive to Sam's Club because you HAVE A COLD.

Man, please.

Look at Your Mom. Now Back to Me. Now Back at Your Mom. Now BACK to ME!

Last week, I went back to my alma mater for Unlearn Week, a week about antiracism and race awareness sponsored by a group I used to lead called the Multicultural Student Advisory Board (MSAB). Although I originally went to help my friend with the weeklong event, I eventually was recruited to speak on a panel about Race and Beauty for women only.

It was an amazing event. It was standing room only, women were packed by the door, sitting on the floor, and it was an amazing conversation with White, Black, Asian, Latina and other women about beauty and the standards of beauty we are forced to deal with. Although I was specifically asked to talk about going natural, I touched on things such as skin tone (which I WISH we could have talked about further) and weight.

One thing that consistently came up in the conversation is the role our mothers played in our own self-awareness and self-image. One girl mentioned how her mother put pressure on her to always leave the house looking presentable, but her mother's idea of presentable seemed too much: make-up done, hair done, etc. all the time. As college students, it's just not a viable option, and it helps me understand why some of my friends always put on their make-up and get dolled up simply to go to class no matter how long they've stayed up or how early they have to wake up in order to make it happen. The common thread in many parts of the conversation is that our mothers have unfairly put so much pressure on us to be feminine, thin, always on point, what-have-you in ways that are unhealthy.

One thing I brought up after noticing this was that we have to honestly and intentionally rethink the values our mothers have raised us with. As young women in this world, it's necessary. My maternal grandmother was and is, excuse my language, a fucked-up person, who raised more fucked-up people, one of which gave birth to an admittedly fucked-up person---me. At some point, we have to be willing to stop this generational curse. We owe it to our children, nieces, nephews, cousins, Godchildren, students, and more to be a model of truly loving yourself and having a healthy-self image. At the same time, we have to be completely conscious about how we're raising our children, especially our daughters, making sure we're building them up and making them secure as much as possible. The contradictory views, the music, the movies, the celebrities, and pretty much everything else around them is screaming at them to be different, to change themselves, to hate themselves, and as young adults, it's imperative that we get on our journey towards self-love and a healthy self-image as soon as possible, preferably before we bring any kids into this world. Real talk, we don't need any more fucked-up children continuing this cycle.

I love my mother dearly, and I love my grandmother dearly, and I love my aunts and cousins with all of my heart. But I have to be honest and say that there are some unhealthy self-images that they had and still have that was ultimately forced upon me at a young age, and trying to fulfill that made me miserable. It put me in a deep hole that took me years to climb out of. I look at them and know that I sincerely don't want to be like that, ever. I think of the daughter I'll eventually raise and am even now committed to raising a young woman who is as least fucked-up as possible. I owe that to her. I owe that to my adolescent self.

So look at your mother, and all the other older women in your life who may have negatively influenced who you are. Make a conscious, consistent commitment to be better than that, to be a woman that wholly accepts who you are and wholly loves who you are. We have no room for self-hate and self-loathing. We can't afford it.

I can't speak to any of the fellas about your own issues, but y'all may want to look at your fathers and make the same conscious decision. Our future posterity deserves it.

Okay, This is NOT COOL!

I had to take out the time to do this right now!!

I'm finishing up my Teach for America stuff and took a break because uploading all this information is giving me major brain spasms. I go on Twitter to see what people are talking about, and I see this HOT GARBAGE!

Yes, a Trending Topic on Twitter is #stopthatthatsgay or "Stop that. That's Gay."

In light of the recent suicides of gay teenagers, how can anyone in their right mind start this topic?

Even more, why should gay people stop anything they're doing? If anything, we need to stop the homophobia and oppressive natures that run rampant in our society.

When we malign the LGBT community for being simply who they are, we get people who suffer internally as well as people who look like assholes.

I'm just in shock and awe at how cruel and disgusting this society can be, especially in light of the recent suicides of LGBT youth.

I'm going to start a topic right now, #stopthatyoureanasshole.

You Might As Well Say "Fuck Yo Fat Ass"

I suck; let's move on.

I went to church today. Every once in a blue moon, I find myself sitting in the pew, arms folded, eyes narrowed at the pulpit, biting my tongue as my chest heaves. Why?

Because my pastor said something completely ignorant.

Believe me people, Waka Flock, Lindsay Lohan, and T.I. aren't the only people suffering from perpetual brain farts.

Usually, the aspiring mayor annoys me with his oppressive views of the LGBT community and marriage. Today was different.

The message was supposed to be an inspiring one, one of hope and persistence. It was supposed to be a focus on working toward goals and whatnot, of taking a step in the right direction so that God will take two.

Then he said, "To all my overweight people, why stay overweight until you die?", referring to a scripture from 2 Kings. "Why stay single and unattractive, living with the wrong notion that bigger is better?"

He might as well have said "Fuck yo fat ass." I would at least respect him more for that.

Notions like these are dangerous though, and I sat throughout the rest of the service picking apart the dumb-ass things he said. So here are my numerous problems with this ideology.

1.) I will not let anyone tell me what to do with my life or who should I be.

2.) I will not let anyone tell me what my value is as a person or that this value is contingent upon how much a scale tells me I weigh.

3.) I will not let anyone tell me that I am not worthy of being loved because I carry more weight than the average woman.

4.) It's not like he is Reggie Bush built or anything. Don't be the pot taunting the kettle.

5.) What message does this send? Basically that you as you are is not enough. It assumes that love is completely conditional, that you have to be something other than who you are to be romantically and sexually appealing to someone.

6.) Telling me I'm basically a fat bitch is no motivator for losing weight.

7.) This is why girls are sticking their fingers down their throat and have Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Girls have self-esteem issues and anorexia because of shit like this.

8.) I will not let any man tell me who I should be as a woman. Ever. EVER.

9.) It assumes that one's romantic life will fall into place after losing weight, as if there is no other romantic problems that will come into a relationship or that the other person won't have any baggage.

10.) So is it safe to assume that if I gain weight after having three kids and have a little trouble shedding those extra pounds, my husband will fall out of love with me and get with some smaller female?

11.) What, we can't call people to act like Jesus and love unconditionally, despite size?

12.) I'm pretty sure there are plenty of men out there who'd be wiling to love my fat ass.

My biggest problem, though, is number five. I can't believe a person who believes and espouses a message of unconditional love can make it completely conditional. I also can't believe the message of self-hate that comes along with it. It's totally dangerous and not helpful.

I, personally, have dealt with way too much bullshit to allow anyone to tell me that my physical appearance makes me unworthy of love. I can't; I won't.

I love myself unconditionally. I look in the mirror and feel satisfied, proud, lustful (Ha ha). Comments like that don't hurt me anymore, but I wonder how many children, teens, and insecure adults heard that message and left church with their feelings hurt instead of feeling positive, hopeful, and filled with the beauty of God, especially from a public figure and spiritual leader who is supposed to inspire them and lift them up.

We all are in different places in our lives. In mine, I'm content and in love with who I am.

And I am confident that I will find someone who's good with that.

Oh, and kiss my fat ass. 8]