$h!+ Kim Says (Part Two)

Well, I thought it was due for a deuce of the stuff I've said since so many people have enjoyed it. So let me not keep you waiting. Let's go for two!

To J-Boog in You Got Served in response to him saying, "I'm boutta go shoot some hoops":

How bout you go to school you dumb bitch?

On Writing:

To be a writer is to torture yourself with lies and the truth.

I'm a slave to the written word; I do what it wants me to do. I function on its timetable. I belong to the word.

Being a writer keeps you from having normal relationships with people. They think you're paying attention. You're not. You're planning.

On truth and honesty:

I have to dress myself in truth, even when others want me to clothe myself with lies.

Honesty goes a long way, believe me. Start with yourself.

On Christianity:

Are you a believer or a converter? And, yes, there is a difference.

On worthless professors:

I didn't know you could go on sabbatical after doing nothing.

On misogyny:

To all those upset about Wale's new vid: I agree. I mean, let's objectify ALL women, not just the light-skinned ones.

On race:

I wanna meet a white dude named De'Andre.

I agree that it's a shame that there are no black people on the Vanity Fair Cover, but I'm also mad that there aren't any Asians, Latinas, + some.

On self-respect:

You know you must not love yourself if you'd fuck Bobby Valentino.

You are who you sleep with. Remember that.

If I see a person with the Justin Bieber haircut, I'm punching him in the face.

On my hate for Brett Favre:

Every time Brett Favre fails, an angel gets its wings.

On maturity and personal ethics:

At some point, you need to grow the fuck up.

Just because it's legal doesn't mean it's to be done.

At some time, personal integrity has to come into play. Bottom line.

"It makes me feel good" doesn't justify the dumb shit you do.

What you choose to make time for, and that which you don't, is a reflection of your character.

You can't have every thing you want. Sometimes, what you want is self-destructive.

The allure of our desires quickly dissipates upon attaining them. Maintain appreciation, curiosity, humility. Dare I say love?

On people who may have gotten bad plastic surgery:

Mario Lopez's face looks fake, like I should be able to chisel it.

On what happens at the Black Church:

And the LORD saith, "when two or more black people have gathered in my name, an ELECTRIC SLIDE shalt be in the midst."

I had the strongest urge to break out the cabbage patch at church today. i refrained.

On beefs between wack rappers:

You would think that rappers who clearly have better things to do in life wouldn't be so damn petty.

On fashion:

Too much lace makes you look like a walking curtain.

Despite popular belief, you can be sexy and classy at the same time.

On music:

I decided to finally listen to Rick Ross's "BMF" to find out what that shit means. I think it means "Bitch Motherfucker" but I don't know yet.

If you don't like jazz, I can't trust you. You can't hate that kind of artistry. How many people on the charts can improvise beautifully?

We need to have the unmitigated gall to call worthless artists garbage.

On goals and aspirations:

I swear to God, if I could be a backup dancer of Janet, I'd forsake any and all of my dreams.

If you refer to getting into porn as a "goal" or "dream" or "aspiration," you are fooling yourself and should play in traffic.

On jumping the gun:

Tell me why I just said, "It's my birthday, bitch!!" It's still the 19th. lol

On random moments of fun:

If you came into the Randle family's dining room five minutes ago, you would have seen me do the "Tequila" Pee Wee Herman dance. Yes.

Twitticisms:

I don't think I've ever seen anything classy come out of Atlanta. Change my mind by providing examples.

There are times where you should run like a bitch, and aint nothing wrong with that.

I dare any woman to have sex with K-Ci from Jodeci. Go ahead; I DARE YOU.

If you can't beat em, taze em.

You know what? I can't keep hating on porn stars. Some people just aren't good at anything else.

On love and sex:

Use condoms. AIDS is real; Herpes is a bitch; and unwanted children grow up fucked up.

90% of men 18-22 are crazy. Look at the guy you're with and think very hard on where he falls.

Don't treat your vagina/penis like weed. Some things aren't meant to be passed around.

Don't have sex with a crazy person. It doesn't help their crazy.

On my lovelife or lack thereof:

You know, I'm content with my lovelife, or lack thereof, now. I won't rush anything. I won't settle. I'll wait for love. Luther Vandross.

Be careful what you wish for:

I wish young kids would absorb their childhood. Stop taking that shit for granted. You wanna be an adult, but it involves responsibilities.

Stupid Statement of the Day 8.24.2010

A day doesn't go by where I doubt the capability of human beings to survive. After all, one has to be the fittest in order to thrive in the world; anyone who doesn't will simply become extinct.

Although many believe that this extinction will come due to homosexuality obviously being a pandemic and agenda to kill off the human race, I believe it's due to the fact that there are way too many fools in the world who'll kill us all with their lack of appropriate and complete thought.

Case in point:

I retrieved this off that great "Thank God my life doesn't suck as much as yours" site fmylife.com. In said FML post, the guy laments the fact that his girlfriend won her battle against infertility and got pregnant since they weren't having protected sex.

The real problem is the response of #6 to the first poster saying that the original poster deserved his fate for having unprotected sex. #6 says,

"How does that make him an idiot? If somebody is infertile (which she apparently lied about being) and has a 0% chance of having any STDs (which I guess they both didn't), then why would you wear a condom?"

Now, when I saw this, I immediately shook my head. And in response to #6, I will unashamedly, unabashedly, unapologetically say the following:

If you're still having unprotected sex, go play in highway traffic.

I don't care how much you love someone. I don't care if you think you're infertile. I don't care if y'all claim y'all are monogamous and will wed soon and yadda yadda yadda. If you're having unprotected sex, you are a danger to our society, and you are an imbecile.

AIDS is real. Herpes is real. And as we all proverbially know, "Shit happens." She probably didn't lie about being infertile. I've watched enough episodes of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant to know that many women who have been told by their physicians that they would never conceive get lucky...or unlucky depending on how you look at it.

And 0% chance of getting STDs? I laugh, and I scoff. Although marriage isn't 100% foolproof of infidelity, it should be. And if you can't do that, don't get married. People eff up all the time; Jerry Springer and Maury told us that. Don't be deluded, and don't be so trusting. Wrap it up, and strap it up because even tubes can become untied and birth control fails, especially if you're just dating.

So I don't care what you have to say. There's no reason ever to go around having unprotected sex. Ever. Don't wanna hear it; shut up. Don't comment to detract. And for extra measure:

Call Me An Asshole...

I'm Fantasia, and I always show good judgment!

In an interview with VH1, Fantasia admitted that her hospital visit at the beginning of the month was due to a suicide attempt. Quoting Fanny, "I just wanted out...I wanted it to be over---all of it."

We all know about the drama that drove her to this point: her affair with a married man, threats that she would be sued by the wife, all that good gossip fodder. With all of this coming down on her, Fanny was simply tired that people were constantly doing her wrong and wanted to end her life.

Well, call me an asshole, but I really don't feel sorry for you, Fantasia.

Don't get me wrong; I know that depression and suicide is a topic in the African American community that is not dealt with as much as it should be. Too many people suffer in silence and don't feel that there is any escape and relief, and for that we really need to address mental health.

However, Fantasia's problems were not due to mental illness or clinical depression; it was because she effed up and decided to be with a married man.

And how does she justify it? By saying that he "lied" to her and said he was "separated." If you haven't read my post "Your Eyes Are Brown Because You're Full of Shit," then you know that this whole "he/she was separated" ideology doesn't mean shit, and Fanny, you are now the poster child of that.

You decided to get with someone who hadn't fully separated from his present, and you're surprised it blew up in your face? The man was cheating on his wife with you, and you thought that he wouldn't eff you over too? Come on sweetie, you have a brain and your G.E.D.; use them.

Not to mention, you have a daughter. Maybe if you were spending more time with her instead of trying to get your rocks off, jet-skiing with a man who left his own two kids behind to go canoodling and fornicating with you, we wouldn't have this little issue, would we?

So do I feel bad for Fantasia? Do I consider her suicide attempt a tragedy? Am I fawning over my laptop looking for the latest news, praying that she's okay? No, no, and no. Don't get me wrong, I wish her the best in her future, but I don't sympathize with people who make stupid decisions for stupid reasons and then get surprised when the proverbial shit hits that ever-spinning fan.

Next time, Fanny, choose to be with a man who is wholly free from any and all relationships before seeking to be with him. Choose to be wiser in your picking processes. And lastly, think more about yourself when it comes to choosing a mate; see where your selfishness took you?

Oh, and you're too damn old for this dumb shit. Grow up. Mmkaythanks.

It Was My Birfday!!!

Hello everyone; it's been a while! Sorry for the posts being scant, but if you didn't know, it was my BIRFDAY on Friday! I was busy doing me, but now I'm back. One thing I did in celebration of my birthday was to make a playlist (since I love doing them so much), and since this playlist is so hot, I'm going to share.

So put this in and simply turn your shuffle on and get it in to celebrate my twenty-two!!

It's My Birfday! 2010

1.) "Skies Wide Open" by Brian Culbertson feat. Avant
2.) "Bet I" by B.o.B. feat. T.I. and Playboy Tre
3.) "Hit and Run" by The Bar-Kays
4.) "Poison" by Bel Biv Devoe
5.) "You Are" by Bilal
6.) "Free" by Bilal
7.) "Hollywood Squares" by Bootsy Collins
8.) "I'll Be Good To You" by The Brothers Johnson
9.) "Shake Your Pants" by Cameo
10.) "Murder She Wrote" by Chaka Demus and Pliers
11.) "Do You Love What You Feel" by Rufus
12.) "Everybody Dance (12 inch)" by Chic
13.) "I Can Transform Ya" by Chris Brown, Swizz Beatz, and Lil Wayne
14.) "Universal Mind Control" by Common and Pharrell
15.) "Give Me Your Love" by Curtis Mayfield
16.) "I Found My Smile Again" by D'Angelo
17.) "When We Get By" by D'Angelo
18.) "Robot Rock" by Daft Punk
19.) "Mirrors" by Dam Funk
20) "Let It Whip" by The Dazz Band
21.) "I Like It" by Debarge
22.) "The Best Is Yet to Come" by Donald Lawrence
23.) "Still" by Donell Jones
24.) "Ooh Na Na" by Donell Jones
25.) "Over" by Aubrey (You might call him Drake; I don't)
26.) "Whatcha See Is Whatcha Get" by The Dramatics
27.) "Body Rock" by Dwele
28.) "Keep On" by Dwele and Slum Village
29.) "Let's Groove" by Earth Wind and Fire
30.) "Fall In Love With Me" by Earth Wind and Fire
31.) "My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It)" by En Vogue
32.) "Jump Up in the Air and Stay There" by Erykah Badu, Bilal, and Lil Wayne
33.) "Backstrokin'" by The Fatback Band
34.) "Disco Nights (Rock Freak)" by G.Q
35.) "Outstanding" by The Gap Band
36.) "Turn Your Love Around" by George Benson
37.) "DJ Don't" by Gerald Levert
38.) "Tell Me" by Groove Theory
39.) "The Groove Line" by Heatwave
40.) "Now That We Found Love" by Heavy D. & The Boys
41.) "Rise" by Herb Alpert
42.) "I Like (The Kissing Game)" by Hi-Five
43.) "So Fine" by Howard Johnson
44.) "Here Comes the Hot Stepper" by Ini Kamoze
45.) "Don't Say Goodnight It's Time For Love" by The Isley Brothers
46.) "Groove With You" by The Isley Brothers
47.) "Work To Do" by The Isley Brothers
48.) "Fight the Power" by The Isley Brothers
49.) "Lightworks" by J. Dilla
50.) "Won't Do" by J. Dilla
51.) "Who Dat" by J. Cole
52.) "This Place Hotel" by The Jacksons
53.) "Locked Inside" by Janelle Monae
54.) "BaBopBye Ya" by Janelle Monae
55.) "Tightrope" by Janelle Monae and Big Boi
56.) "Throb" by Janet Jackson
57.) "If" by Janet Jackson
58.) "Make Me" by Janet Jackson
59.) "On To The Next One" by Jay-Z and Swizz Beatz
60.) "Itis" by Jesse Boykins III
61.) "Decale Gwada" by Jessy Matador
62.) "He Loves Me (Lyzel in E Flat) (Movements I, II, III) by Jill Scott
63.) "You Got Me" by The Roots and Jill Scott (The Real Hype, Crazy Jill Vocals Version)
64.) "Get On Up" by Jodeci
65.) "Fire" by Joe Budden
66.) "Green Light" by John Legend feat. Andre 3000
67.) "Superman Lover" by Johnny "Guitar" Watson
68.) "Bad Girl" by Jon B.
69.) "Everytime (Remix)" by Jon B.
70.) "La Camisa Negra" by Juanes
71.) "LoveStoned/I Think She Knows" by Justin Timberlake
72.) "Power" by Kanye West
73.) "Keep It Comin' Love" by KC & The Sunshine Band
74.) "Get Down On It" by Kool & The Gang
75.) "Ladies Night" by Kool & The Gang
76.) "Jungle Boogie" by Kool & The Gang
77.) "Everybody Everybody" by Black Box
78.) "Lovin' It" by Little Brother feat. Joe Scudda
79.) "Get It Shawty" by Lloyd
80.) "You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine" by Lou Rawls
81.) "Bring It On Up" by The Love Unlimited Orchestra
82.) "Real" by Lupe Fiasco feat. Sarah Green
83.) "Return of the Mack" by Mark Morrison
84) "Now/At The Party" by Maxwell
85.) "Gotta Get: Closer" by Maxwell
86.) "Before I Let Go" by Frankie Beverly & Maze
87.) "Another Parto of Me" by Michael Jackson
88.) "Streetwalker" by Michael Jackson
89.) "She Drives Me Wild" by Michael Jackson
90.) "In The Closet" by Michael Jackson
91.) "Off The Wall" by Michael Jackson
92.) "Midas Touch" by Midnight Star
93.) "Do You Wanna" by Mint Condition
94.) "Casa Bey" by Mos Def
95.) "romancipation" by Musiq Soulchild
96.) "backagain" by Musiq Soulchild
97.) "forthenight" by Musiq Soulchild feat. AAries
98.) "Made You Look" by Nas
99.) "Virgo" by Nas
100.) "Nobody" by Ne-Yo
101.) "Feelin' It" by New Edition
102.) "Ecstasy" by The Ohio Players
103.) "Cutiepie" by One Way
104.) "BOB" by Outkast
105.) "Up For The Down Stroke" by Parliament
106.) "Mothership Connection" by Parliament
107.) "Baby I'm A Star" by Prince
108.) "Bring It Back" by Raheem DeVaughn
109.) "Give It to Me Baby" by Rick James
110.) "High On Your Love Suite/One Mo Hit (Of Your Love)" by Rick James
111.) "Make U Love Me" by Robin Thicke
112.) "Rock You" by The Roots
113.) "The Fire" by The Roots & John Legend
114.) "Take Your Time (Do It Right) 12 inch" by The S.O.S Band
115.) "El Fuego" by Santana
116.) "(Da Le) Yaleo" by Santana
117.) "Make That Move 12 inch" by Shalamar
118.) "Watching You" by Slave
119.) "Stone Jam" by Slave
120.) "Galactic 2" by Steph Jones
121.) "Do I Do" by Stevie Wonder (The 10 minute long version)
122.) "Love Light in Flight" by Stevie Wonder
123.) "Apache" by The Sugar Hill Gang
124.) "There'll Never Be" by Switch
125.) "Big Things Poppin' (Do It)" by T.I.
126.) "Cool" by The Time (The 10 minute version!!)
127.) "Get Down" by Troy "Trombone Shorty" Andrews and Orleans Avenue
128.) "No Thing On Me" by Troy "Trombone Shorty" Andrews and Orleans Avenue
129.) "Pretty Girls" by Wale (WITHOUT Gucci Mane)
130.) "I Can Make You Dance" by Zapp & Roger
131.) "Dance With Me" by 112
132.) "It's Time For The Perculator" by I have No clue, lol
133.) "Bless Me (Prayer of Jabez" by Donald Lawrence
134.) "Macho Man" by The Village People

Get it. Love it. Jam!!

Come Laugh With Me 8.18.10

Trey Songz.

Most women love him (usually those between 13-35). Men want to be him. I have a like-hate relationship with him, but I acknowledge that he has a certain swagger that's attractive. I just wouldn't let my vagina within 50 yards of him.

Anyway, some have their problems with dude, understandably, and some have noticed things in his vocal pattern that can be made fun of. Check out this video of this guy impersonating Mr. Trigga. I'm still recovering...and my cheeks hurt (source).

Are Black Churches Keeping Black Women Single?

Everyone and their great-grandmama has been interested in the mating life of the African American female. Hell, it should get its own special on the Discovery Channel at this point. A new part of this conversation that is being explored is whether or not the black church is part of the reason why so many African American women are single, with its strict biblical interpretation and emphasis on a submissive woman among others. The article is an interesting read. What do you think? Black ladies, what is your experience?

Your Homophobia Is Not Cute.

I was going to write about something else today, but I just saw this on Twitter and had to shake my head and put my fingers to the keyboard. Now, I know everyone won't agree with what I have to say, but I understand the importance of and need for dialogue. So comment in the little box below or shoot me an email or something, for your comments are welcome.

I believe that hypermasculinity is destroying the world. I sincerely believe that. I affirm that the way we determine masculinity and femininity is based on stereotypes and unfounded, outdated tradition that harmfully engulfs our society. This is demonstrated in the following tweet from one of my followers/someone I follow (I thought about starting a Twitter fight but you can only be so nuanced, intelligent, and detailed on the microblogging site).

"I just don't get it...why are niggaz soooo gay nowadays. Niggaz act like bitches and bitches act like niggaz. #WhereDidWeGoWrong???"

Despite the terms "niggaz" and "bitches" representing "men" and "women," the worldview (Thanks Calvin!) that is at work in this quote is extremely problematic.

Firstly, why is it any concern of yours what someone's sexuality is? Even more, whatever that sexual orientation is, why are you personally offended by it? No one's getting hurt, harmed, or endangered in the process of people living their damn lives, so what concern is it of yours?

Secondly, who defines what a woman acts like or what a man acts like? What, so man being into fashion, cooking, shoes, and anything else stereotypically female means that he's acting like a woman? And a woman who's into cars, guns, sports, explosions, technology, math, science, or anything else stereotypically male acts like a man? Why are we forcing people into categories unnecessarily, especially when they're categories based on that which is not true? What's wrong with any of it? People have diverse interests that exist beyond their gender. Let people live.

Thirdly, by saying that gay men are acting like "bitches" automatically has an air of superiority. The denotation of the word "bitch" as we all know is "a female dog, wolf, fox, or otter." By calling any person a "bitch," despite and depending on someone's intention, the connotation of that word is that of an animal, which the majority of humans place beneath them. So not only are you disrespecting someone on the basis of their sexuality, something none of your business, but you're labeling them as nothing more of an animal. That's a problem.

Fourthly, the person who said this acts as if he is the greatest, most holy person in the world, like most people who hate people who are homosexuals do. He claims he used to deal drugs in high school. He's a liar. He's misogynistic. He has some slightly assholic (yes, assholic) tendencies. And who knows what other demons and secrets he holds near and dear to his heart. When you do the reckless, self-absorbed, horrible things you do, how can you hate or berate someone for doing something that hurts no one else and is natural? At least come to someone out of love instead of acting like an immature, unfeeling, cold, cruel imbecile.

Fifthly, why not challenge norms that are based on lies, half-truths, or nothing at all? Why can't men rebel against things typically masculine and females likewise? Why accept as fact, truth, or a paragon to live life everything you've been raised with or everything you've known and seen? Think for yourself! And let me tell you, trying to fit into the mold of what is typically masculine or feminine does nothing but destroy the individual because he or she is trying to be something that is not true to self. That consumes, destroys, kills the individual. Too many people in the LGBT community have been murdered or have committed suicide and have suffered from depression and self-harm all because of this. You can't inform who someone should be. Get on your own amelioration instead.

One last thing and I'll be through: do not delude yourself into thinking you are better than others solely because you are heterosexual. You are a fallen, worthless, stinking, sinful, disgusting sack of garbage like the rest of us. You lie. You steal. You hoe. You kill. You deceive. You refuse to show remorse or mercy. You judge. You refuse to take responsibility. You cheat. You put yourself before others or before your God. You have no compassion. You fight. You hoard money. You worship the meaningless. You shun integrity. You despise wisdom. You act selfishly.

Most of all, you hate.

And that makes you worse than anyone who chooses to be wholly intimate with a person of the same sex.

Your Eyes Are Brown Because You're Full of Shit

At first, I wasn't going to comment on this stuff, but I'm seeing this way too often to not make some sort of statement about it.

To have an affair with anyone while your wife is pregnant with twins is completely trifling in and of itself, but to justify it with this whack ass excuse is even worse. I've heard it from many celebrities over the months, and it's starting to annoy me.

You know that excuse.

"We were separated."

Swizz Beatz said it about his relationship with Mashonda. The-Dream said it about his marriage with Christina Milian. And now Tiki Barber and his hoe-turnt-roommate is applying that same dumbass logic to justify their infidelity and all-around loser tendencies.

For those of you who don't know, let me tell you a little bit about the purpose of "separation." Legal separation is NOT the period of time where you are still married while going through divorce proceedings. Being legally separated is not meant for you to go swimming in the dating pool hoping you come up with a prize fish instead of crabs.

Also, when you are legally separated, you are still MARRIED. So Tiki having a relationship with Traci is, guess what?, CHEATING. Therefore, this female saying that "plenty of people who are separated have girlfriends and boyfriends" is poor logic and justification at best. Plenty of people go sleeping around without condoms, but that doesn't make it right. Plenty of people right now are snorting cocaine off someone's back, but that doesn't mean it's okay if you do it too. And plenty of people are sleeping with someone other than their wife/husband with their wedding band in their pocket, and whether you know it or not, it doesn't make it right. Plenty of people do messed-up stuff all the time, but that doesn't justify your horrid actions. At least be a woman and admit what you did.

Back to the topic at hand: the point and purpose of legal separation is to physically separate both parties involved. This time is for you to clear your head, have some time apart, calm down, and determine what you really want, to stay together or divorce. Most times, the relationship becomes so volatile and damaging for both the couple and the kids that this becomes necessary. Sleeping around does not make this process better or easier. As a matter of fact, you're still married, so it makes you look like an ass. Legal separation does not justify your cheating. Your marriage is not over. You're a whore; and you're stupid.

So yeah, plenty of people cheat on their spouses have boyfriends and girlfriends while separated. But they're not supposed to, imbecile.

I haven't done this in a while, but I feel the need to. Palm and backhand, fool!

Why I Need to Turn 22

I'm 21 and think life is going to be awesome!!
---August 20, 2009

You know, all my friends, fam, and associates have told me or simply mentioned in conversations how awesome it is to be twenty-one years old, how they couldn't wait to turn that magic age where you are officially not a kid; you're an adult.

And why not, right? No more club limits. No more drinking limits. Clothed in maturity, you can do what you want, when you want, where you want, and be good.

Well, I'm not the typical young adult. I don't drink or club-hop, so being twenty-one hasn't been some breath of fresh air, removing shackles type shit. As a matter of fact, being twenty-one has been completely sucky. "Why?" you may ask.

1.) I got stung by a bee for the first time.

I had managed to avoid beestings my entire life until a few weeks after I turned twenty-one. That shit hurts, and when the crying stops, the dull pain for a couple days just becomes annoying. That, unfortunately, was the start of it all.

2.) I was driven nearly half-crazy by Calvin College's Education Department.

Yeah, I said it. Between my worthless Capstone, needless out-of-pocket expenses, ridiculous professors, and more, I have fumed my entire senior year more times than I can count about anything EDUC at Calvin. If it weren't for the English Department, who knows where the Spoelhof Center would be. Interpret that any way you'd like. 8]

3.) I got hit by a car.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen; I got hit by a damn car. And, no, I wasn't in a car when I was hit; I was a pedestrian. Through the mercy of the Good Lord, I wasn't hurt, but that ish messed me up for a while. How many twenty-one year olds can say that?

4.) I have no job and I live at home with mom.

Nuff said.

5.) My uncle passed away.

Again, nuff said.

6.) I got Carpal Tunnel.

Yeah, I'm twenty-one and have to wear a splint because of wrist pain and whatnot. I had been fine until a few months after my twenty-first birthday. NOT cool.

7.) I got an astigmatism.

During a trip to the eye doctor that was supposed to be a 2 for $69.99 deal at America's Best, I was told that I had an astigmatism in, I do believe, my right eye that was greatly worsened because of too much time looking at a computer, which made the balance come out to $200. And why did this happen? Hmm...maybe it was because I went to COLLEGE. Yes, higher education further effed up my eyesight, and it also effed up my wrist.

Don't get it twisted, there have been some great things that happened at twenty-one, including numerous awards and accolades, graduation, FINALLY getting a 4.0, and having great friends and roommates. However, I have to be real and say that my experience of being twenty-one was totally inferior than the experience of your typical twenty-one year old.

I say, "Bring on 22!" Honestly, nothing can be worse than my being 21 besides catching Herpes.

I just look forward to seeing the new, better, fortuitous things that can and will happen to me in the next year.

Stupid Statements of the Day 8.4.10

Sorry that I haven't been updating. I've been slowly falling apart and trying to keep certain insanity at bay. Let's escape from our stressful lives for the moment by examining people who probably ate lead paint as children.

Stupid Statement #1

Everyone has been saying how Lyfe Jennings's new song "Statistics" is horrible. It wasn't til yesterday that I took a listen. Not only is the song lacking as far as topic, creativity, depth, and accuracy (I mean, honestly, how can you write a song about facts and figures that isn't based on actual facts and figures?!) but the actual stupid statement comes from two of the video's comments.

"lyfe speaks da truth er tyme he writes a song, lyfe thank u 4 helpin us women understand wats goin on wen sum of us r blinded by da love dat we have 4 those men..."

---shasha87100

"ladies could learn alot from this song"

---homeydawg36106

"Why are these statements stupid, Kim?" you may ask.

Well, besides the bad spelling, punctuation, grammar, and capitalization, these statements are stupid because it's shit you should ALREADY KNOW.

Why should Lyfe help you learn something common sense should have taught you a long ass time ago?

Let's look at the lyrics of "Statistics":

Rule number 1: Don't be a booty call. If he don't respect you, girl, he gon forget you, girl.

If the dude you're talking to never wants to see you outside of his or your house (your house if he knows what he's doing) or during the sunshine hours, then you should know you're dealing with someone not interested in a relationship or love. If you needed Lyfe to tell you that, there are many buildings in metropolitan areas fit for you to jump off of.

Rule number 2: If he's in a relationship, if he'll cheat on her, he'll cheat on you.

One, Ginuwine told us this back in the 90s with "What's So Different," so where were you when Ginuwine addressed this topic? You're a good 13 years late, though you were probably licking your wounds for ending your first dead-end relationship. Two, this is just sheer logic. If your brain is incapable of seeing, even surmising, that someone disrespectful to others will be disrespectful to you, then Sigfried and Roy have a couple of white tigers to play with and I have a steak-flavored suit that you can wear during that visit.

Rule number 3: Tell him that you're celibate; and if he wants some of your goodies he's gonna have to work for it.

Why any person would freely give up the draws and expect heaven on Earth is mind-boggling to me. Anything worth having and appreciating is never attained without work and effort. How can you not think about establishing a connection before having sex? Makes no sense to me. It just seems logical.

Rule number 4: Be the person you wanna find; don't be a nickel looking for a dime.

Rarely do opposites attract and work out. You can't be a crackhead married to a reverend (though sometimes one can be both). Even more, you can't be full of shit and expect to land someone who is amazing and nontrife. Who you deserve is analogous, not reciprocal, to who you are. I think it's common knowledge that you can't or shouldn't be dating if you're not a good person or at least trying to be one. But hey, sometimes I'm a bit too optimistic about the mental faculties of mankind.

So could women learn from this song? Absolutely! You can learn how lacking you are in competent thought if the song shed light on your dating life. Honestly, if you haven't learned this shit by 20, then you are a lost cause. You have too many people and life experiences by that point in your life to be this foolish.


Stupid Statement #2:

One thing has been shaking up the black, and female, community this week Essence magazine's announcement that its new fashion editor would be Ellianna Placas, a "white" woman who is actually Latina. Everyone including former fashion editor Michaela Angela Davis has expressed disappointment, disdain, and even outrage at this decision, and many have been weighing in, including the person in the below video.



The vid was interesting, but what I found even more interesting is yet another Youtube comment, your next stupid statement of the day.

"If they are going to hire a white person for a black magazine,considering everything blacks have gone through,then they should scrap the whole magazine.This goes to show that the black community is on it's death bed for sure."

---kdolo100

First, "considering everything blacks have gone through" sound like a big bunch of bullshit. If African Americans continue to hold grudges against past misdeeds instead of acknowledging truth and working for reconciliation, nothing will change in race relations. I'm not saying that we should forgive and forget the vast, cruel racism of yore and today; however, hiring a "white person" for a black magazine isn't electing him/her president of the NAACP. And what does writing about gladiator sandals and skinny jeans have to do with race relations anyway?

Next, how does the hiring show at all that the black community is "on its death bed for sure"? Because our school systems don't do that. The disproportionate unemployment doesn't do that. The state of the popular black music with all its hedonism, shallowness, and recklessness doesn't show that. Not even the violent neighborhoods and rampant black on black crime do that! But hiring a "white woman" for a black magazine is the last straw, damn it!!!

Get off it, honestly. Fashion is fashion; it's not like she's going to be writing about what it's like to be black in America. Besides, we have way more pertinent things to worry about in the African American community than who's telling us what's new on the runway. Oscar Grant anyone?