In case you don't know, two NYC police officers were on trial, and acquitted, of rape of a young woman who was drunk. According to reports, the officer raped her while the other officer was a lookout. A 9-11 call was faked, the officer went back to her that night around four times...it's just an all-around horrible, horrible tale of police misconduct and human depravity.
What's worse is that in said article, the wife of the police officer apparently said that the victim should go to hell, that she hates the victim, and that the victim should go to jail.
Wait, WHAT?!
So, apparently, this needs to be said.
1.) You, male or female, need to get consent before you engage in any kind of sexual activity with someone. If a person is under a certain age, no matter if he/she says yes, one cannot legally give consent. If you don't get this consent, this is considered rape.
2.) If a person is drunk or inebriated, he/she cannot give consent. If you have sex with a person under the influence, this is considered rape.
3.) Blaming the victim is the worst thing you can do. It is never a victim's fault for enduring rape. There is no amount of clothes you can wear, nothing you can do, no place you can go to prevent rape. A person is raped because someone raped them. And, yes, your husband is capable of rape. Your father is capable of rape. Your pastor is capable of rape. Focus on them and their seriously troubling actions instead of telling victims they should go to Hell because they were taken advantage of in a state where they couldn't defend themselves.
4.) Cops are supposed to protect and serve, not rape.
5.) As a woman, she should be ashamed of herself. It's horrible for men to blame victims of rape for their crime, but it's doubly grating to see a woman who is oppressed by the same society and could easily herself become a victim of rape blaming a victim or something her raping-ass husband did. How she can sit next to him, defend him, and spew hate for the victim is mind-boggling to me. And frankly, it's disgusting as hell.
Instead of blaming the victim, why don't we support her and other rape victims? She didn't ask for this to happen to her; she didn't seek out a penis to be forced into her vagina.
And while we're at it, why don't we, I don't know, focus on these men who apparently think it's okay to take advantage of and rape a drunk person? Why don't we deal with the rape culture we live under daily? Why don't we teach our men (and some of our women) that rape is never okay and should be punished under the fullest extent of the law? Why don't we end the statutes of limitations on rape? Why don't we make sure police make rape cases a priority so rape kits aren't backlogged? Why don't we teach our girls (and our boys) that it is never their fault if they are raped?
But I guess that shit's way too hard. So let's go back to telling a rape victim she should go to hell. You know, as if she doesn't feel like she's already there.
Preach it, Kim!!!! Yes, the whole situation is disgusting and should hurt our hearts--this verdict only adds to attitude of our patriarchal society that women can be used and abused at leisure without consequence. And when they object and try to get justice, they are all too often blamed and persecuted. And it's so frightening and sad to realize how often women are the harshest critics of other women who've been raped or assaulted. Getting mad at the victim is easier, I guess, than dealing with the ugly reality of our world. :-/
ReplyDeleteWe mustn't give up, though, and we need to educate girls and boys, women and men alike about healthy relationships and the respect that every individual deserves--whether they're dressed scantily, under the influence, etc.
I don't know how much of an impact it would make, but perhaps we can start by writing to gov't officials and law enforcement folk re: our outrage at how rape and sexual assault cases are (mis)handled and not seen as a priority...