I was going to write about something else today, but I just saw this on Twitter and had to shake my head and put my fingers to the keyboard. Now, I know everyone won't agree with what I have to say, but I understand the importance of and need for dialogue. So comment in the little box below or shoot me an email or something, for your comments are welcome.
I believe that hypermasculinity is destroying the world. I sincerely believe that. I affirm that the way we determine masculinity and femininity is based on stereotypes and unfounded, outdated tradition that harmfully engulfs our society. This is demonstrated in the following tweet from one of my followers/someone I follow (I thought about starting a Twitter fight but you can only be so nuanced, intelligent, and detailed on the microblogging site).
Despite the terms "niggaz" and "bitches" representing "men" and "women," the worldview (Thanks Calvin!) that is at work in this quote is extremely problematic.
Firstly, why is it any concern of yours what someone's sexuality is? Even more, whatever that sexual orientation is, why are you personally offended by it? No one's getting hurt, harmed, or endangered in the process of people living their damn lives, so what concern is it of yours?
Secondly, who defines what a woman acts like or what a man acts like? What, so man being into fashion, cooking, shoes, and anything else stereotypically female means that he's acting like a woman? And a woman who's into cars, guns, sports, explosions, technology, math, science, or anything else stereotypically male acts like a man? Why are we forcing people into categories unnecessarily, especially when they're categories based on that which is not true? What's wrong with any of it? People have diverse interests that exist beyond their gender. Let people live.
Thirdly, by saying that gay men are acting like "bitches" automatically has an air of superiority. The denotation of the word "bitch" as we all know is "a female dog, wolf, fox, or otter." By calling any person a "bitch," despite and depending on someone's intention, the connotation of that word is that of an animal, which the majority of humans place beneath them. So not only are you disrespecting someone on the basis of their sexuality, something none of your business, but you're labeling them as nothing more of an animal. That's a problem.
Fourthly, the person who said this acts as if he is the greatest, most holy person in the world, like most people who hate people who are homosexuals do. He claims he used to deal drugs in high school. He's a liar. He's misogynistic. He has some slightly assholic (yes, assholic) tendencies. And who knows what other demons and secrets he holds near and dear to his heart. When you do the reckless, self-absorbed, horrible things you do, how can you hate or berate someone for doing something that hurts no one else and is natural? At least come to someone out of love instead of acting like an immature, unfeeling, cold, cruel imbecile.
Fifthly, why not challenge norms that are based on lies, half-truths, or nothing at all? Why can't men rebel against things typically masculine and females likewise? Why accept as fact, truth, or a paragon to live life everything you've been raised with or everything you've known and seen? Think for yourself! And let me tell you, trying to fit into the mold of what is typically masculine or feminine does nothing but destroy the individual because he or she is trying to be something that is not true to self. That consumes, destroys, kills the individual. Too many people in the LGBT community have been murdered or have committed suicide and have suffered from depression and self-harm all because of this. You can't inform who someone should be. Get on your own amelioration instead.
One last thing and I'll be through: do not delude yourself into thinking you are better than others solely because you are heterosexual. You are a fallen, worthless, stinking, sinful, disgusting sack of garbage like the rest of us. You lie. You steal. You hoe. You kill. You deceive. You refuse to show remorse or mercy. You judge. You refuse to take responsibility. You cheat. You put yourself before others or before your God. You have no compassion. You fight. You hoard money. You worship the meaningless. You shun integrity. You despise wisdom. You act selfishly.
Most of all, you hate.
And that makes you worse than anyone who chooses to be wholly intimate with a person of the same sex.
I believe that hypermasculinity is destroying the world. I sincerely believe that. I affirm that the way we determine masculinity and femininity is based on stereotypes and unfounded, outdated tradition that harmfully engulfs our society. This is demonstrated in the following tweet from one of my followers/someone I follow (I thought about starting a Twitter fight but you can only be so nuanced, intelligent, and detailed on the microblogging site).
"I just don't get it...why are niggaz soooo gay nowadays. Niggaz act like bitches and bitches act like niggaz. #WhereDidWeGoWrong???"
Despite the terms "niggaz" and "bitches" representing "men" and "women," the worldview (Thanks Calvin!) that is at work in this quote is extremely problematic.
Firstly, why is it any concern of yours what someone's sexuality is? Even more, whatever that sexual orientation is, why are you personally offended by it? No one's getting hurt, harmed, or endangered in the process of people living their damn lives, so what concern is it of yours?
Secondly, who defines what a woman acts like or what a man acts like? What, so man being into fashion, cooking, shoes, and anything else stereotypically female means that he's acting like a woman? And a woman who's into cars, guns, sports, explosions, technology, math, science, or anything else stereotypically male acts like a man? Why are we forcing people into categories unnecessarily, especially when they're categories based on that which is not true? What's wrong with any of it? People have diverse interests that exist beyond their gender. Let people live.
Thirdly, by saying that gay men are acting like "bitches" automatically has an air of superiority. The denotation of the word "bitch" as we all know is "a female dog, wolf, fox, or otter." By calling any person a "bitch," despite and depending on someone's intention, the connotation of that word is that of an animal, which the majority of humans place beneath them. So not only are you disrespecting someone on the basis of their sexuality, something none of your business, but you're labeling them as nothing more of an animal. That's a problem.
Fourthly, the person who said this acts as if he is the greatest, most holy person in the world, like most people who hate people who are homosexuals do. He claims he used to deal drugs in high school. He's a liar. He's misogynistic. He has some slightly assholic (yes, assholic) tendencies. And who knows what other demons and secrets he holds near and dear to his heart. When you do the reckless, self-absorbed, horrible things you do, how can you hate or berate someone for doing something that hurts no one else and is natural? At least come to someone out of love instead of acting like an immature, unfeeling, cold, cruel imbecile.
Fifthly, why not challenge norms that are based on lies, half-truths, or nothing at all? Why can't men rebel against things typically masculine and females likewise? Why accept as fact, truth, or a paragon to live life everything you've been raised with or everything you've known and seen? Think for yourself! And let me tell you, trying to fit into the mold of what is typically masculine or feminine does nothing but destroy the individual because he or she is trying to be something that is not true to self. That consumes, destroys, kills the individual. Too many people in the LGBT community have been murdered or have committed suicide and have suffered from depression and self-harm all because of this. You can't inform who someone should be. Get on your own amelioration instead.
One last thing and I'll be through: do not delude yourself into thinking you are better than others solely because you are heterosexual. You are a fallen, worthless, stinking, sinful, disgusting sack of garbage like the rest of us. You lie. You steal. You hoe. You kill. You deceive. You refuse to show remorse or mercy. You judge. You refuse to take responsibility. You cheat. You put yourself before others or before your God. You have no compassion. You fight. You hoard money. You worship the meaningless. You shun integrity. You despise wisdom. You act selfishly.
Most of all, you hate.
And that makes you worse than anyone who chooses to be wholly intimate with a person of the same sex.
Way before I came out to myself as gay, I came out to myself as a gender-bender. I think, like you pointed out, the problem is much bigger than just homophobia - it's a culture of men must fit a rigid set of gender rules and women must fit a rigid set of gender rules. As a gay male, people think I'm less of a man because I don't know how to take care of my own car, I'm not super athletic, etc. But that presupposes that being a "real man" or a "real woman" is ideal. People fit too much into their gender roles worry me. I make up my own gender as I go along in life and that's good enough for me. I wish we could focus more on trying to be "real people" - genuine, caring, and secure in who we all are.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting this, Kim! I miss you terribly! =(
JOELLLLLLLL! Thanks for your sharing. I'm glad you pointed that out and that you liked that post. Where did you disappear off the face of the earth to?! I miss you! You must email me!
ReplyDeleteOh, tear-- so proud to see how your thoughts have developed over the past few years! You know I whole-heartedly agree with you.
ReplyDelete