I Am Not Their Hair

I have always had a love-hate relationship with my hair. When I was a child, I took pride in the fact that people would mistake my long hair for a weave. I got that good hair, joe!

Then I let it break off around 6th grade when my mom was too busy with family issues to make sure my hair was taken care of. Pssh Whatever. Now, I don't have to get my hair washed and permed and all that jazz.

Then I realized what I had done and became more proactive about my hair. By my junior year, my hair was a bit past my shoulders, and I was proud of its softness and healthiness.

By the time college came, my hair took a back seat for the most part. Then, I again decided that I needed to be more responsible about the maintainence of my hair. I shunned box perms since they aren't too good for one's hair, and started going to the shop about every two months. 65 dollars plus a tip every two months.

By Fall semester 2009, I had had enough. I wasn't taking care of my hair at all. I wasn't using the flat iron or curling irons I bought because I was too busy, and I realized that paying for my touch-ups at the shop was eating away at my financial stability. I was tired of taking out four hours every two weeks to wash my hair, blow dry it, oil my scalp, moisturize it, flat iron it, and wrap it. Plus, I had been thinking about my posterity and own personal truth: how can I tell my children that who they as themselves are perfect when I'm not embodying that myself? How can I claim my so-called "realness" if I'm not real with myself and about myself first? I was in a quandary.


So in November, I decided to cut my hair when it was supposed to be my next touch-up. The B(ig) C(hop) happened on January 9, 2010, and I have yet to look back. After it was done, I felt alive, liberated. I knew I had done the right thing.

What really bothered me, and honestly still does, are some of the comments from friends and family, more of the ones that sound like, "Oh, you're tryin to be Lauryn Hill/Erykah Badu/India.Arie...|insert Neo-soul artist with natural hair|." Don't get me wrong, I love all of those ladies and have nothing but respect and love for them. However, where does the assumption come that my own hair journey is only to mimic someone else's? Why is the comparison used as a clandestine means for derision? What does my going natural have to do with them at all? I'm not trying to be anything other than myself, which is what the purpose of all of this is.

I'm not trying to be a militant, Afrocentric, "fight the power," "down with the man and his creamy crack!" kind of person. I was like that before I cut my hair, and my hair is not a physical manifestation of those inward characteristics. Like Eric Benet, I needed to be true to myself, so I am not their hair. I am my own.

Those attempting to diminish my hair journey to mere emulation of fabulous Neo-Soul Artists?

3 slaps to your dome, son!!!